Author: Johryn

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Farscape, any of its characters, etc. The Henson Company, Nine Network and the Sci-fi Channel have that privilege. This was written out of pure admiration for your genius so please don't sue.

Setting: Takes place sometime after The Way We Weren't

Thanks: First of all, I want to thank Ben Browder and Claudia Black for their wonderful portrayal of these characters. The life they have brought to these characters makes it very easy to write for them. Second, thanks to Quiltlady for her encouragement and proofreading skills.

Archiving: Contact me. I'd be happy to send an html version

That One Thing

Moya's corridors were dark as John padded barefoot into Aeryn's quarters. Looking down at her sleeping form, he wondered if he'd made a mistake in coming here. She looked so peaceful, and he knew she'd be upset if he woke her. But he needed to talk. He needed someone to listen to him.

He stood at the door, unsure what to do when she asked, "What do you want Crichton?"

"I ... I ... uh ... I ... I need ..." he sputtered.

"You need what?" she asked calmly as she rolled onto her side to face him.

"Never mind." He said, shaking his head. "This was a bad idea. Just forget I was here Aeryn." He turned and started down the corridor toward his own quarters. What was I thinking? How can I talk to her about this? She'll think I've lost my mind.

"John Crichton. Stop right there." She commanded. He turned to face her, wondering how he was going to explain his actions. "You obviously wanted something. Tell me what it is."

"It sounds so stupid. You'll laugh." He replied sheepishly.

Giving him her most serious look, she said, "I promise, I will not laugh. Now talk."

"I had a bad dream. I needed someone to talk to." He paused as she smiled. "See, I told you. I sound like a little kid."

"No John. You do not sound like a child. You sound like a man who needs to talk. Come back into my quarters."

"Not a good idea Aeryn." He replied. He didn't trust himself to be alone with her in her quarters. He was afraid one thing would lead to another and he didn't think either of them was ready for that just yet. "I'll just walk around for a while, clear my head."

She ducked her head and smiled shyly, "Would you like some company?" He grinned and nodded. "Just give me a few microts to get changed." She said ducking back into her quarters.

Less than one hundred microts later she reentered the corridor dressed in a pair of loose fitting slacks and a tunic that extended to her knees. The outfit looked more like something Zhaan would wear, except that it was black. He'd never seen her dressed like this before, but he had to admit he liked it. She looked so comfortable and at ease, it suited her. She smiled at his appreciative gaze. God, she is so beautiful.

As he looked at her, he realized how ridiculous he must look standing there in his underwear. He blushed and she chuckled; a deep throaty, sensuous chuckle. I love that sound. I don't think she even realizes what it does to me. Course if I keep thinking about it she'll surely know ... won't be able to hide it at all. He grinned and said, "Um ... I'd better go change myself ..."

He hurried down the corridor to his own quarters where he quickly donned a pair of pants and a tee shirt, both as black as Aeryn's outfit. When he turned to head back into the corridor, he was surprised to find her standing in the doorway watching him. "Why Miss Sun, I am shocked!" he joked in his most languid southern drawl. She laughed aloud at his feigned expression of outrage.

Without thinking, he extended his hand to her and was surprised when she took it. They stepped into the corridor and started walking. For several microts they walked in silence. No words seemed necessary. Finally she broke the silence, "John. What is it? What's bothering you?"

He sighed deeply. Even though he'd wanted to talk when he'd gone to her quarters, now he was reluctant to begin. It all sounded so foolish, so childish when he tried to put it into words. "Like I said, I had a bad dream. I needed to know you were there"

"Tell me John."

For the next quarter of an arn John talked, describing his dream — his nightmare — to her. They continued walking until they found themselves at the portal to Moya's terrace. Somehow he always seemed to find his way here when he needed to get some perspective. As he had described the dream to her, he realized it wasn't the dream that was really bothering him, it was his loneliness. He had good friends, close friends, but there was one thing missing. And that one thing was Aeryn. He wanted more from her than he thought she was willing to give.

He stopped outside the door to the terrace and turned to look her in the eyes. What he saw there surprised him. She had tears in her eyes. Embarrassed, she looked away quickly, but she knew it was too late. He had seen how much his words had moved her. So often, he talked just to fill the empty space between them, but tonight he had spoken from his heart and it had moved her. Though his words had been a description of the nightmare he had endured, the unspoken words were what she had heard. He understood the loneliness and isolation that were so much a part of her. He suffered from the same affliction.

They walked onto the terrace and sat down as close to the stars as they could. John put his arm around her and pulled her close. And for once, she didn't pull away. She let him hold her. He lay down on the warm deck and pulled her down beside him. They lay side by side, only their shoulders touching. As he looked up at the stars, he said, "I used to do this with my Dad when I was a kid ... lay out under the stars at night. We didn't talk, we didn't do anything, we were just together."

She closed her eyes, drinking in the intimacy they shared. She had recreated with many men. She had even been close to one. Velorek. But she had been truly intimate with only one man. John. She was surprised, and pleased, to realize that she did not have to have sex to be intimate with this man. She was jolted from her pondering when she realized John was talking again.

" ... remember pointing up at a star like this ..." He raised his arm and pointed at a star, "and saying to my dad, 'Someday, I'm gonna go there. Someday I'm gonna see that star up close.' I remember he smiled and said, 'Johnny' — and, by the way, don't you ever call me that — 'I hope your dream comes true, but you have to remember we don't have the technology to do that.' I was about ten at the time. That's when I decided I was gonna figure out how to make it happen." He paused and turned his head to look at her, smiling, "For all I know, we're orbiting that star right now."

She rolled her head and looked at him. Why am I so reluctant to tell him how I feel? I can't imagine my life without him in it. But I can't say it. If I do, I may drive him away. He knows what I did to Velorek. He may fear I'd betray him too. "Thank you John." She said instead of telling him what was truly in her heart.

"For what?" he asked softly, sleepily.

"For sharing this with me." She said, reaching down and intertwining her fingers with his.

A comfortable silence reigned between them as each considered what this night had brought to their relationship. And soon, they were both overtaken with the sleep of the truly content.

 

John opened his eyes to the bright light of the Arisaig sun peaking over the planet's horizon as they continued their orbit. He was startled to find Aeryn's head on his shoulder and her arm across his chest. Then he remembered how they had walked and talked last night. And he knew that they had taken another step in the evolution of this thing happening between them. He took a deep breath and stretched slightly, trying not to disturb the beautiful woman sleeping beside him. He was unsuccessful and she stirred. When she realized her position, she tensed briefly, then relaxed again. She also understood that things had changed in the arns since he had come to her quarters.

He reached up and stroked her silken black hair absently as he watched the sun grow larger outside of the ship. This was the closest he'd been to watching a sunrise in a long time and he was going to enjoy it in the arms of the woman he loved. It just don't get no better than this. "I sure would like to wake up beside you every morning." Did I just say that out loud? Oh, God, what have I done? He held his breath, expecting her to jump and run. But she didn't.

Instead, she turned her head and looked up at him, a smile curling her lips. "I'd like that too." She whispered. There, I said it. Maybe now you'll know how much I care for you ... "I love you." That slipped out aloud didn't it? Now he'll run. He can't possibly love me, can he?

"Say it again Aeryn." He whispered pressing his lips to her hair. "Please, say it again."

"I love you John."

"You have no idea how long I have wanted to hear those words from you ... how long I have wanted to say them to you. But I didn't want to scare you off."

"You never could. I've finally found that one thing I've been searching for my entire life. That one thing that would make me more than a Peacekeeper."

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